How to Get Away with Never Wearing Heels Again pt. 2

We continue our series with three more outfits, finishing up our exploration of mini-lengths; and again, the trick is to match the flat to the mood of the outfit. Which shoes you choose can shift the mood of the outfit, taking it from funky to sexy to more casual; but rarely can it completely change the mood of an outfit, and so we try to stay in-range with what the outfit is saying.

Flats With Mini Skirts by inaglassforest featuring an angora sweater

The left is cute-cozy/casual-flirty. Choosing oxfords continues casual-flirty, the sandals casual, the slides casual with a funkier element given the print, and the rainboot would be really cute and a bit flirty. This is a potential outfit for spring-autumn Maenads, Angels, and Seers.

The middle outfit is edgy, and any variation on a moto-boot will pair. I especially like the first boot with cutouts because it helps continue the line of the leg/exposed skin while still having the feeling of a boot. If you do a solid boot with a mini length, it segments the leg in a way that can be harsh- anything with scalloping or cutouts will help blend the line, as would dark tights or leggings. This is a potential outfit for winter Nymphs, Maenads, Fae. 

The third outfit is sensual-cozy, and I really like the simple peep toes or sandals as an echo. The closed toe slingback is cozy. If you wanted more sensual-dressy, you could choose peep toes with sparkles or bow detailing. This outfit has potential for Angels and Mermaids. 

The post series on How To Get Away With Never Wearing Heels Again has concluded and you can find it all here:

Part One: Mini Dresses

Part Two: Mini Skirts

Part Three: Midi Dresses

Part Four: Maxi Dresses

Part Five: Pants

Part Six: Jeans

Summary and Type Specifics

Say Yes to your Best

In the KLM approach to style, we focus on what is working, rather than what is not. Rather than coming up with a list of NO, we come up with a list of Yes! Yes! Yes! A small difference at first glance, but with a big mental impact. Framing is everything, and we don’t need to know what is bad in order to work on enhancing the beauty you already have. Learning only what enhances saves mental clutter as well as keeps us focusing on that which is positive.

Rather than "no crewnecks" we ignore crewnecks entirely. Our list says only "yes! scoopnecks!"

I'm not even sure we have time for "maybe"s. When you learn your best, you also learn where you can make concessions if you have to, and which directions to make them in; but what focus we have available ought really be spent on enthusiastically loving our best- the very best versions of ourselves inside and out. 

A pitfall to this is the kind of obsession to detail, the pickiness, that arises from knowing our true best, and not wanting to make concessions. The trick is to remember that we are striving to be our bests with what is available to us right now.  

The future may bring something even better. All we can do is to do our absolute best with what we have at hand (including our budgets as well as style and color availability). If you have a solid basic wardrobe, then you have enough that you can wait through seasonal cycles and the trends of color and cut that come and go to find what really flatters you. You can level up your wardrobe one item at a time- replacing a jersey tee with a linen tee with a silk blouse, or whatever improvement on an item looks like for you.

If you don't have a solid basic wardrobe, then work toward building one while clearing your closet of what isn't working to make room for what works better. Small improvements add up over time, and are often better than sweeping changes; because they give us time to adjust, time to play, and time to really see and feel what is and isn't working. 

What do you feel confident in saying yes to?
 

when looking to others for style inspiration and advice

Looking to others for style inspiration and style advice can be a wonderful boon, but it can also be laden with pitfalls. Here are a few questions to help you navigate:

1. Are you asking for an opinion before trying to form one of your own?

If you ask what someone else things of something before sitting quietly with yourself and determine what you think of it, you're handing over the keys to the kingdom. Your opinion should ultimately matter more than the opinion of others when it comes to the way you dress, and forming your own opinion first requires both the time for consideration and the confidence to claim an opinion.

If you're still really not sure, it can be beneficial to ask others, BUT, get clear on what you're looking for in terms of feedback before asking. General "what do you think of this?" is not likely to be as helpful as "which pant leg best balances my body lines x or y?". If you've taken the time to ask your own opinion, you should have an idea of what you remain unclear on. Is the line off? Does the vibe not enhance your authentic beauty? Is the color a smidge too bright or too cool? Neckline too sharp or closed? Know what you're uncertain of, and phrase your question to others to reflect that.  

2. Are you copying someone's look wholesale?

I think copying is one of the most useful tools available to us, and that everyone should try copying this or that to see what happens, but a full scale copying isn't beneficial on a daily basis- it's most useful as a temporary tool to see what works and what doesn't. Using someone else's look as a template for your own is wonderful, accompanied with doing the work to personalize it so that it fits you like a glove. 

I see women try to copy a look or style type and become quite frustrated that it isn't working- that nothing is working. That's because to copy wholesale is to try on a costume. There is much to be learned from trying on a costume, but it's important to remember that it is a costume until you've drawn in other elements and tailored it to the particulars of your beauty. 

3. Are you asking for feedback with a closed mind?

One of the things I see happen commonly, is someone posting as if they're asking for feedback, when really what they wanted was to share a look and hear confirmation that it is well done. The opposite happens as well, where something they think is awful is shared, and they're frustrated when the audience disagrees. If you share a look, state clearly whether you want feedback or not. If you do want feedback, maintain an open mind, and ask for honesty.

Honesty is very important in guiding yourself or others (when they've asked for it) toward authentic beauty. It serves no one to blow smoke. Honesty can be done kindly. One of the best examples I've heard was something along the lines of, "That ____ isn't good enough for you." Isn't that a great way to say that something looks bad? It can be hard to find a way to say that something looks bad, because we know the person themselves to be beautiful, and it can falsely feel like telling the person they themselves look bad, rather than the thing looks bad/isn't serving to enhance their beauty.

It can feel painfully personal to have our style critiqued, because it is to a degree a reflection of our identity and self-expression. This is the very reason that honesty is so important. We want to do a good job at both expressing and enhancing ourselves in a pleasing and authentic way to visually communicate to others, and we need to know what is truly effective to do so. Being kindly honest is a gift for us to share with one another. When you hedge your honesty or dilute it too much, it becomes a disservice- exactly the opposite of what you had intended.

4. Are you inspired by style that doesn't enhance you?

This point can be brutal. It's hard to admire a look that perfectly enhances someone else without also wanting to have it for yourself, but stay true to what enhances you. Once you know your authentic beauty, it's easy to come to touchstone words that describe what enhances you. If a touchstone word is quirky, but you have an obsession with classy, you will have to be very very careful of how you try to bring your love of classy into your own look. When best looks and lusted after looks are really far apart, the more you can leave to admire on others who do it well, the better.

There are ways to bring elements into your best look from styles you love. The closer the admired style is to your own authentic beauty, the greater the elements you can borrow; and the farther apart, the more carefully they need to be handled. If quirky admires classy, she will have to bring classy in in ways that that still read as quirky- using classy elements in a surprising and unusual way- a blazer with an unexpected print or a strand of pearls in a fun color or with size variation. There is always room to play, as long as you're staying true to your best.

 

Have you noticed other pitfalls? What do you encounter the most?

My Capsule Wardrobe January 1, 2016

It is a living, evolving capsule. You can also see snapshots of how it has been in the past. I'm constantly seeking to play with and improve it. Clothing is a necessity, and style a passion to explore. 

Not pictured: exercise clothes, undergarments, jewelry

1. purple velvet blazer
2. coral cutout 3/4 sleeve jacket
3. coral trenchcoat
4. green wool coat
5. grey moto jacket
6. grey drape blazer
7. green wool cloak
8. red-orange blazer
9. rosegold sequin mini dress
10. cream stretchy sheath dress
11. navy sparkle neck bodycon mini dress
12. green double zip sheath dress 
13. grey sheath dress
14. grey maxi dress
15. green halter maxi dress
16. wine slip dress (got rid of)
17. navy sparkle maxi dress (favorite thing)
18. red-orange purse
19. black purse
20. gold purse
21. black hooded dress sleeveless maxi
22. aqua maxi dress
23. green halter jumpsuit
24. coral purse
25. grey tote
26. grey silk tie-dye cami
27. grey split hem tee
28. purple silk blouse button up
29. navy ruffle neck sleeveless blouse
30. navy silk tank
31. grey midi tube skirt
32. green maxi straight skirt (diy)
33. red-orange slim pant
34. grey wool trouser
35. black wrap waist pant
36. coral drape pant
37. slight bootcut jeans (currently don't fit)
38. silver clutch
39. black lace up heels
40. lime and aqua peeptoe booties
41. coral wedges
42. holographic belt
43. sunglasses
44. shoulder jewelry
45. taupe snakeskin sandal heels
46. gold skyscraper heels
47. black and navy sandal heels
48. black bow booties
49. pewter loafers
50. black oxfords

There are many items on this list that I know I want to send on their way, and many items I know I want to replace. My current ideal wardrobe is: suits, sleeved maxi dresses, straight midi skirts, blouses, flats/lows in: green, aubergine, royal purple, coral pink, and grey. Not terribly much on my list that aligns, but that's the plan, folks.

Fantastical Beauty Quadrants and Subtypes (In-Type Variants)

In determining your Fantastical Beauty style archetype (or having it determined for you), you're likely to come to a square of possibility. A person's face is often between full and balanced or full and linear; and it's common for a woman's s-curve to be in between subtle and moderate or moderate and major s-curve types as well. While some people will have a clear best type, and others will be between two, the most common is to be in a square of four possibilities (a few rare people span a possibility of six). 

Once you narrow it down to your four, personality, energy, outer perception, and even coloring can come into play and aid you in narrowing it down from there.

One of the six possible type squares.

Even after you've come to your true type, knowing your location relative to neighboring types can be useful in personalizing the type recommendations. 

If this is your four, but in the end you were able to confidently claim a linear face, but lean in personality/coloring/vibe and other tertiary considerations toward nymph, your placement might look like this, and you may have fun pulling some Nymph elements into your Fae look.

In this possibility, you are Fae, but due to tertiary considerations, you were able to completely eliminate Valkyrie and Nymph, while there was still something right to be found in Maenad, and you can now draw to a small degree from that type.

Your location on the Fantastical Beauty map will never be directly on a line. You will always be located as one of the nine types. That said, whatever your type, there IS a way to borrow an element from any of the other eight types, while staying true to your Fantastical Beauty archetype.

Valkyrie contains Glamazons, Were, Huntress, Godiva, Raven Riders, and Valkyrie-as-subtype.

Fae contains Elf, Dark Pixie, Garden Fairy, PixiePuck, Brownie, and Fae-as-subtype.   

Magic Queens contains Sorceress, Spirit Healer, Imp, Enchantress, Necromancer, and Magic Queen-as-subtype.  

Maenads contains Gorgon, Vampire, Succubus, Jinn, Satyress, and Maenad-as-subtype..

Nymphs contains Woodland Puck, Kitsune, Heket, Centaur, Nyx, and Nymph-as-subtype..

Angels contains Star Woman, Fallen Angel, Iris, Soul Guardian, Pegasus, and Angel-as-subtype. 

Dragon Princesses contains Cupcake Princess, Harpy, Phoenix, Mother of Dragons, Lucky Water Dragons, and Dragon Princess-as-subtype.

Mermaids contains Sea Witch, Selkie, Seapuck, Lamia, Kelpie, and Mermaid-as-subtype.

Seers contains Banshee, Lady Luck, Ghost, Reaper, Siren, and Seer-as-subtype.